Normalising grief on YouTube

Normalising grief on YouTube

If you know me or follow my social media you will know that in 2015 I lost my nephew, Grandad, Step Great Grandad, my 3 year relationship ended and I lost my job.

A lot of 2015 was filled with grief as a result of all this. No matter how many times and how many people told me that I could take as long as I needed to grieve these things, all the advice and offered support didn’t stop me feeling wrong about how I was showing my grief and how long I was grieving for, still having bad days this long after.

Through YouTube I have found a lot of videos about grief and how other people handle it. Just hearing people I am subscribed to and have that connection with taking about grief helped normalize it for me, not in that it’s a thing we should just accept in our lives as a permanent but making it okay to feel that whenever you want or need to.

I thought I would share some if these videos with you in case anyone is grieving or knows someone who is in case it could help them too.

The most prominent one in my mind is Hazel Haze’s August 2015 Time of The Month. In this she discussed her break up and how much attending Summer in The City helped her grieving process because she was surrounded by happy, supportive and uplifting people while she was there. She also mentioned how grief permeates everything and how strange it feels to smile or laugh for the first time during grief.

Next is two videos as a result of the death of Christina Grimmie. Though I had never heard of her before she was killed and it is a sad loss to the world when someone is unnecessarily killed, these videos and this tragedy have sparked a convosation about grief and gun laws in America, both things that need to be spoken about.

First we have Dodie Clark’s cover of Christina’s song My Anthem where at the end she talks about how sad she is about the loss of Christina who was an inspiration to her in starting her YouTube channel. You see an outtake of her trying to play the song and stopping to cry, showing how much Christinas death affected her.

Second we have Tessa Violet’s video 2016 so far in which she says she was asked to be a part of a memorial video for Christina and she said no because though those people were ready to do that she wasn’t done being sad about it, showing that the grieving process takes longer for some and that’s okay, it shows that making something can help some people to grieve but that doesn’t mean it has to help everyone.  She also discusses other awful things that have happened in 2016 and the vlogbrothers and their movement for a kinder internet.

The last videos I have found that openly talk about grief are from the SacconeJolys after the miscarriage of their third child. First is Everything Happens For a Reason in which they go to the doctors and the miscarriage is confirmed to them, they show footage from two weeks earlier of them being told they may miscarry and showing the pain and grief they already felt. The second is Saying Goodbye in which Jonathan gets a tattoo to represent their lost child and then they set off lanterns with messages on them with their two other children for their loss child or “Squid” as Jonathan called it.

Grief is not a permanent feeling or state but seeing other people who are going through it and discussing how it feels and maybe how you feel can help, normalising that feeling and being reminded by people that they can take as long as they need and being reminded that grief can hit you again at any time is a good thing. When all of your feelings, emotions and reactions feel wrong as part of grief it’s good to have things to remind you it is normal and happens to everyone.

To add a little sunshine to your life or to break up the grief here are some videos that make me happy:

John Green/vlogbrothers some good news: 16 ways 2016 is not a total dumpster fire

Dodie Clark and Sarah Close – Bring it all back cover

12 products that reinforce gender stereotypes (this might not sound happy but they make jokes about the unnecessarily gendered things which makes me laugh)

Dodie Clark and Carrie Fletcher – Gold Star For Me (I love Dodie okay)

ThisBeDottie and Patty Walters – I Can’t Hear You Yet



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